Am I Ready
What is the right age to start having sex?
The decision to have sex is a personal one and can depend on how ready you feel to accept everything that comes along with it. That everything is a lot: risks of pregnancy and/or STIs and the emotional work you need to do to protect yourself and understand the ways your relationship might change.
It’s normal to wonder whether or not you should have sex. The questions below can help you navigate your feelings.
- Is this what you want to do?
- Is your partner pressuring you? Do you feel like you can safely make the decision for yourself?
- Can you communicate clearly with your partner about what you want, what you consent to and how you’ll both protect yourselves from pregnancy and STIs?
- Have you talked to a health care provider about getting effective birth control?
- Do you have condoms?
The right time to become sexually active is different for everyone, and it might even take time to decide what’s right for you. No matter when that time comes, it is important to be prepared and safe.
Whatever you decide—if it’s to have sex or to keep waiting—it’s still totally normal. Just remember to do what’s right for you and be safe.
I’m feeling a lot of pressure from my partner to have sex.
Having sex is an important decision that you need to be comfortable with—even if you’ve had sex before. Sex is a decision that needs to be right for both of you!
Sex is something you should enjoy, not feel obligated to do. Pressure and coercion are signs of an unhealthy relationship. If your partner is pressuring you, it might be a sign that this isn’t the right relationship for you.
I trust him and I want to have sex with him someday, but things are moving way too fast!
If you’re worried things are moving too fast, speak up! Your partner may or may not already know you feel this way. Sometimes when things move too fast early on in a relationship, they can snowball very quickly. Have a conversation sooner rather than later about slowing things down to a pace you can handle. Open and honest communication with one another is the key to a healthy relationship.
Talking with your partner about something like this can be uncomfortable at first, but it can help bring you closer together. If your partner ignores or disrespects your decision to slow things down, it may be a sign you want different things out of a relationship.