Relationships

 

My partner and I haven’t had sex yet, but we’re getting bored with our usual routine.

If you’re feeling bored, there are lots of ways to spice up your routine that don’t cross each other’s sexual boundaries. Here are a few ideas.

If you decide to have sex, you should decide together. Make sure you include birth control in your game plan.

No matter what, remember that open and honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship.

 

My partner wants me to text him naked pictures of my body.  Should I?

Spoiler alert: Sending nude photos to anyone rarely ends well. There are also legal implications if you’re under 18 or if someone under 18 sees them—both of you could get in a lot of trouble. Never text naked or revealing pictures of yourself to anyone.

There’s more than just the law to consider. What happens if you and your partner eventually break up? Would you still trust him with your naked pictures then? What if he puts them online or shares them? What if someone tries to use them against you?

 

My partner is pressuring me to have sex, but I just don’t want to.

 

No. Just no. Pressure is never okay.

Never be afraid to stand up for yourself. What you do with your body is your choice and your choice only. But it can be intimidating to reject your guy. So here are a few ways to get the conversation started. And if he still refuses to hear you out and pressure you, dump him and move on.

If you ever get to the point where you feel that pressure might be verging on abuse, it’s time to call in reinforcements. Talk to someone you trust—a health care provider, Mom or Dad, a sister or friend. If you need an anonymous sounding board, check out the National Teen Dating Abuse helpline. Call 1-866-331-9474 or 1-866-331-6453 or text LOVEIS to 77054.

 

My partner and I are ready to have sex, but he doesn’t want to use a condom.

 

Having unprotected sex is risky business. If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable using a condom, there are many other birth control options – like the pill, the shot or the ring – that you can use to prevent pregnancy.

But not all birth control protects you from STIs. So if you have sex without a condom, make sure you and your partner get tested first at a health center and are free of STIs.

And always remember—It’s never cool for your partner to pressure you into something you’re uncomfortable with. If you don’t feel comfortable having sex without a condom, you have to stand up for yourself and put on the brakes.

 

My parents keep trying to have “the Talk” with me, but it’s sooo awkward. 

It can be awkward at first, but it’s still really helpful. And as awkward as it may seem for you, it may also be a bit awkward for them, too. Hear them out, even if you just sit there and nod. Chances are they’ll have some pretty good advice, and if you’ve had something on your mind, now is the time to ask!

If your parents aren’t willing to answer your questions, consider talking to another trusted adult like your school nurse or guidance counselor.

 

I’ve decided to wait to have sex with my partner, but it is really hard—he is so hot!

Totally normal! It’s really common for your body to want sex, even if you’ve made the decision to hold off for now. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, though.

Remember, lots of teens don’t have sex—for lots of different reasons. Talk with your partner about the decisions you’ve made about sex. Open and honest communication is the key to a healthy relationship. In the meantime, you can try lots of other sexy things that don’t involve actually having sex. Here are some ideas.

 

I’m feeling a lot of pressure from my partner to have sex. 

Having sex is an important decision that you need to be comfortable with—even if you’ve had sex before. Sex is a decision that needs to be right for both of you!

Sex is something you should enjoy, not feel obligated to do. Pressure and coercion are signs of an unhealthy relationship. If your partner is pressuring you, it might be a sign that this isn’t the right relationship for you.

 

I trust him and I want to have sex with him someday, but things are moving way too fast!

 

If you’re worried things are moving too fast, speak up! Your partner may or may not already know you feel this way. Sometimes when things move too fast early on in a relationship, they can snowball very quickly. Have a conversation sooner rather than later about slowing things down to a pace you can handle. Open and honest communication with one another is the key to a healthy relationship.

Talking with your partner about something like this can be uncomfortable at first, but it can help bring you closer together. If your partner ignores or disrespects your decision to slow things down, it may be a sign you want different things out of a relationship.

 

I grew up in a house where talking about sex was off-limits. But I don’t see it that way.

Part of becoming a healthy adult is figuring out how to talk about your needs, your health and your boundaries—even when it comes to sex. Open and honest communication is the key to any healthy relationship. If you grew up in a home where sex was a taboo subject, take some time to learn about how to talk about “it” and about your birth control options.

If your parents are opposed to you having sex, try to understand why. Are they worried about your safety? Is it against their values? Are they trying to protect you?

Ultimately, you’ll have to decide for yourself what your values are and what role they’ll play in your life. They’ll probably align with your parents’ ideas in lots of ways, but may be different in others. The important thing is that if you choose to be sexually active, you protect yourself properly.

There’s also the possibility that sex isn’t really an off-limits topic. Parents can find it really awkward to talk about sex, too. If you’d like to talk to your parents about sex, here are some ways to get started.

 

How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?

It is safe to say there’s no easy way to tell your parents this news. It’s also safe to say they may not be happy about it—so be prepared.

First, find out if you’re actually pregnant. Discount stores like Walmart and the dollar store sell really affordable home pregnancy tests that work just as well as the expensive ones. You can also go to a health clinic to take a pregnancy test. Oftentimes, health care providers can have good ideas about how to talk about pregnancy with your parents and can also get you the health care you need if you are pregnant.

Your parents might be angry at first, or find it hard to believe, but they might be able to help you consider what to do.